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When parents clash over child rearing philosophies

Local developmental psychologist says adults must work through their differences to find common ground.

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota — When we become parents, we bring our own family history and child rearing beliefs with us. So it’s no surprise that couples often disagree about the best way to raise their children. 

But, those disagreements can take a toll on children and on the parents’ relationship. “Children do best when parents are reasonably consistent, especially on the big things. A common pitfall is to play “good cop, bad cop,” which undermines kids’ security and creates tension between parents,” said Dr. Marti Erickson, host of Mom Enough, a weekly podcast

Dr. Erickson believes parent relationships are happier when adults are on the same team and work together toward the same goals. That doesn’t always come naturally. “We need to be intentional about developing an approach that will work for ourselves and our children,” said Dr. Erickson. So, what does it take to work through those differences and find common ground? Dr. Erickson offers some sound advice.

FIVE TIPS:

  1. Identify areas of agreement
  2. Find a calm, quiet place to address disagreements
  3. Identify reliable parenting resources
  4. Set regular, frequent check-in times
  5. If disagreements continue, seek professional help

MORE: Navigating parenting in the social media age

MORE: Tips on raising a well-rounded only child

MORE: Study: Minnesota best state to raise a family

 

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