GOLDEN VALLEY, Minn — The threat of domestic violence is real for thousands of Minnesotans.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One in four women will experience severe physical violence in their lifetimes. Booker Hodges said his mom was one who didn’t survive the abuse. After suffering head trauma, his mom died when Hodges was 12.
Hodges, 42, is the assistant commissioner for the Minnesota Department of Public Safety.
“When she died, there were two Minneapolis police officers sitting in our living room. They were discussing whether or not they were going to charge my dad with murder,” he said. “During that discussion one of them said to the other, 'Why would we do that? We would just have two more N words in foster care. That was my first experience with law enforcement.'"
Despite the negative encounter, he became a member of law enforcement. Hodges said his father, now deceased, was never charged.
Thirty years later, Hodges is father of two and husband with a mission to break the cycle of abuse. He is sharing his story to potentially help others suffering in silence.
“If this helps one person not have to tell this story. I will tell this story a thousand times. I believe the Lord called me to do this,” he said. “This something men don't want to talk about and hold other men accountable with domestic violence.”
Remembering is tough.
“We got spankings and tossed around. There were times when I would try to jump on his legs when he was hitting my mom and he would throw me against the wall,” he said. “As a 10-year-old boy having a conversation with your mom about leaving your dad is something most 10-year old’s shouldn’t have to do. She wanted to leave but she just couldn't.”
If you need help — or someone you know needs help — you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
“There is a lot of help for people out there. My dad, I firmly believe this was not an evil person. He just did not know how to get help.,” he said. “My last conversation with her was she thanked me, and she told me she loved me. That was the last words my mom said to me.”
Struggling to recognize abuse? Here's a list of warning signs.