GOLDEN VALLEY, Minn. — How does a hug from a friend make you feel? How about when a partner or child holds your hand?
Touch affects our neurological systems and our physical and mental health; but often, people experience what researchers call "touch hunger." Developmental psychologist Dr. Marti Erickson, co-host of the weekly Mom Enough podcast, stopped by KARE 11 Saturday with tips to make sure you and your family are reaping the benefits of touch in your daily lives.
"Sensitive, responsive touch is central to the development of secure attachments between parent and child, from the first days of life through the years ahead," Dr. Erickson said. "In all kinds of relationships – and certainly relationships between parents – respectful, tender touch strengthens bonds."
According to Dr. Erickson, touch on the skin sends a signal to the brain, reducing the production of stress hormones like cortisone while stimulating the production of calming hormones like oxytocin. Touch can help decrease the heart rate, as well as reduce feelings of anxiety.
However, many people are missing that beneficial feeling of touch. In one recent study, 40% of respondents said they experience "touch hunger." Researchers cite the pandemic and the prevalence of technology and devices that contribute to the lack of touch.
Dr. Erickson offered these suggestions:
Reflect on how you experience touch in your life right now
"Think about the tender touch you’ve experienced recently," Dr. Erickson suggested. "How do you feel in those situations? Do you wish there were more? Are there things you used to do that have slipped away? What are the things that stand in the way of healthy physical connection?"
Talk about this as a family
"Ask your spouse and kids about cozy memories they have from less busy or isolated times," Dr. Erickson said. "Are there activities they’d like to revive – like a cozy movie night snuggled together, or a routine hug at bedtime or as you leave the house in the morning? Or how about just a pat on the shoulder when something goes especially well? Or group neck, head or shoulder rubs, especially after a hectic day?"
Be intentional about integrating more touch into your interactions
"Even if your family isn’t big on group discussions of these things, what can you do to bring a more gentle touch into your interactions with your loved ones? What barriers can you remove – declaring a no-devices hour, for example?" Dr. Erickson said.
Be sensitive to what your loved ones say in words and actions
"Just as touch can be comforting and pleasant, it also can be stressful if others don’t read and respect cues and signals," Dr. Erickson said. "Especially with babies or very young children, we adults easily can become intrusive if we impose kisses or hugs or playful tickling at times when we want it, but the young child’s expressions and actions say they need some down now."
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