GOLDEN VALLEY, Minnesota — SportsLife is a recurring blog examining issues that impact young athletes, their families, officials and the greater community. Topics come from YOU: email them to news@kare11.com with SportsLife - Dana Thiede in the topic line.
Most of us have gone through a stretch at one time or another where we find ourselves outside the good graces of a boss, coach or friend for one reason or another. It may be bad timing, extenuating circumstances or, perhaps, something we have or haven't done that landed us in the proverbial "doghouse."
Fans of the Minnesota Wild know this has been a challenging season, with the club battling inconsistency and what some see as significant under-achievement from a handful of players. One of them, assistant captain Matt Dumba, was pulled off the ice and declared a healthy scratch for two straight games in January for poor play and shaky decision-making.
Forward Ryan Hartman was the next one to be pulled from the lineup for taking ill-advised (Wild head coach Dean Evason called them "stupid") penalties and not performing up to standards expected of him. Hartman, who scored a career-high 34 goals last season, has just 9 in 38 games this year after missing a number of contests early due to injury.
"Message received," Hartman said at the time, knowing he was squarely in Evason's doghouse and needed to make major changes to emerge from it and return to the ice. The fiery forward's situation was headline material, high-profile but definitely not unusual.
"Sometimes... they're not playing their game in a way that is consistent with the way that they've played in the past," explains Hans Skulstad, therapist, performance specialist and founder of MN Center for Sports and The Mind. "I have seen situations even in professional sports, where there is some kind of personality conflict or people being not on the same page. And that gets athletes in the doghouse. I can think of players that I've worked with that get themselves in the doghouse, by the way that they behave off the ice, or their relationships with others and teammates aren't great."
Skulstad says young athletes often think when their playing time dwindles, or they get dropped from the top line to the second or third, it's because the coach doesn't like him or her as a person. In the majority of situations, he says, that's not the case.
"Most of the time, it's about... what you're doing on-and-off the ice. What I also tell my son (a youth hockey player) is, if there are two players in any league that are equal in ability and skill, the guy who's a jerk doesn't always get the benefit of the doubt."
Making things more difficult is how that cycle of failure - or perceived failure, not measuring up to expectations - can drag an athlete down even further. Pressing too hard frequently has the opposite result, with on-ice or on-court performance actually getting worse instead of better. The old axiom about gripping the stick too tight can actually be based in reality.
The bottom line here is that while a young athlete may or may not agree with the assessments that landed them in no-man's-land, the path back to good graces can be tricky to navigate.
"Go back to your strengths... play consistent, and be willing to play as hard as you can," Skulstad advises. "And let go of the fact that you're going to be judged as a loser if you try hard and it doesn't happen. But most of the time, I find when players can accept the vulnerability of playing hard, giving their full effort and having a good attitude, most of the time they turn things around."
Skulstad ticked off a laundry list of other things a young athlete can do to right a ship that seems to be sinking:
- Play your game.
- Have faith and confidence in yourself and your process.
- Don't attach meaning to the fact that you're there (the doghouse).
- Find ways to be grateful for what you have, and use the things that got you there.
- Be open to feedback.
- Don't let criticism trick you into thinking that you suck. Criticism is helpful. It tells us what we need to do to change.
And make no mistake, turning things around is a two-way street. Skulstad says young people often have communication skills that are insufficient and still evolving, and trying to talk about the problem with a coach can actually come off as being disrespectful or whining. He believes the responsibility for good communication lies with the adult.
"When kids make big mistakes, or they have attitude problems, what they're telling you is, they don't have the words to tell you what's going wrong for them. Okay? And when that happens, that's not about you," Skulstad asserts. "Coach, kids don't go out and make mistakes to make coaches miserable... If you don't take it personally, and you react in a way where you're helpful, you give them encouragement, you tell them and give them tips about what they can and can't do to get better, then they're more likely to come to you and be able to communicate with you. But when you don't talk to them, and you don't give them a guideline for what it is they need to do to get more playing time, helplessness ensues, and it actually makes the doghouse thing even worse. It's their perception that there's no way out of it."
There is life after the doghouse, which can be seen in the story arc of the Wild's Hartman. After returning to the ice following his benching, the inopportune and unnecessary penalties have been reduced if not eliminated, and Hartman has been "re-elevated" to the first line with star wingers Kirill Kaprizov and Mats Zuccarello, the spot where he found so much success in 2021-22. He's picked up key goals in recent wins against New Jersey, Nashville and Los Angeles to keep the Wild squarely in the playoff picture.
"The importance of that comeback story is... you have the ability to learn, change and be different," Skulstad says. "And if you believe that about yourself, and that you have trust and faith that you can problem solve, it's way more likely that you're going to have a comeback story."
If you're interested in learning more about the mind's role in sports and life performance, check out Hans Skulstad's Center for Sports and the Mind website, or sign up for his free Mental Fitness Friday newsletter, which focuses on topics ranging from overcoming mental obstacles and adapting to change to dealing with performance interfering thoughts.
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